Panhandlers & The Best Days of 2013...so far

January 23rd

I skipped work and went to Sundance. In the morning I went as a "chaperone" to a screening of Ain't Them Bodies Saints at the Rose Wagner theater. My friend Jeff teaches high school and invited me along. After the film we got some food and then I headed for Park City.

One of my favorite artists, Bleu, was performing in the ASCAP Cafe. I didn't have credentials to get in, but I contacted Bleu (via Twitter and Instagram) and he said he could get me in. !!!

I was early to Park City, so I just walked up and down main street for a while. I saw Joseph Gordon-Levitt talking to someone. He was asking that person for tickets. I wondered who that person was. I may never know. I saw Michael Cera chumming it up with some people across the street.

Ryan Miller, the lead singer of Guster, had two films he'd scored at Sundance. Safety Not Guaranteed was a big hit the year before. Now he had In A World... and The Kings of Summer. He's a big deal. I knew he was around because he was also performing at the ASCAP Cafe. (I got a picture with Ryan a few months earlier at a concert in Park City. White denim! Here's a youtube video from that show.)

I sent Ryan a tweet, but didn't know if I'd hear back from him. Then, as is a common problem in my life, I had to poo really bad. I entered a building and there was Ryan Miller. I talked to him for a bit. He is a super nice guy. He was at Sundance promoting his films. He had just finished doing a symposium on scoring film. He was about to do a show. And he took time to visit with me. Rad guy. Must be a Boston thing.

Bleu and Guster are both from B.O.S.T.O.N.




Bleu's awesome manager, Stacey, got me into the ASCAP Cafe. Bleu's set was fantastic. Ian Ball, of Gomez, performed next. Awesome. Then, during the next set, I'm standing there while Bleu, Ian, and Ryan Miller were all chatting. Mind blowing; a Time Traveling Wilburys.

Bleu and I then enjoyed Ryan's set together. So cool. Enjoying an amazing artist with another amazing artist--and I'm just some guy. (Who looks more excited in the picture, me or Bleu?)

Bleu and Stacey invited me to go eat with them, but I had to go pick up Rachel from school in Salt Lake. We had box seats through my work to that night's Jazz game. It was a lot of fun. The Jazz even won!

2013 was only a few weeks old and I had already had a day to rival any other in my life. Could 2013 have any more to offer?



June 8th

Two days after the day described above, we bought tickets for They Might Be Giants performing at The Depot. I had just over four months to be really excited about "June 8th." Somewhere in those four months TMBG announced an in-store performance and signing at Greywhale Records: more to be excited about! Also, I cut and donated my hair. I had been really busy with work, life, and styling my hair...so I had not thought too much about HOW I was going to enjoy my day, I just new WHEN: June 8th.

Even though I'd gone to bed around 4:30am I woke up early on June 8th because of a common problem in my life: I had to poo really bad. I had three hours of sleep. I could not go back to sleep. I had to get ready to meet They Might Be Giants. They have been my favorite band since I was about 9 and my uncle Brent played the song "Turn Around" for me.

When should I get there? What should I have them sign? How should I style my hair? Then, the biggest question of all: if I can get my picture taken with TMBG, will I be satisfied with it being a cell phone picture? I contacted my best friend Nick, who just happens to be a professional photographer. I asked if he could possibly come take pictures at this thing. He told me he was at a shoot and that he would swing by on his way home. Best friend.

I got everything in order and headed to my sister's house; she was joining me for my adventures. (Rachel was throwing her best friend a bridal shower, so she couldn't attend the in-store performance.) We got to Greywhale and Andrea, being a genius, asked where the signing was going to take place. We enjoyed the set standing at what would be the front of the line while Nick dashed around like a mad man taking pictures.

Then it was time for signing. A couple people pushed in, but we were still about fourth in line. John and John signed my McSweeney's issue 6, my IFC 2011 t-shirt (I wore the 2012 one), and their new Nanobots CD. Nick took this picture of TMBG, my sister, and me.

Andrea and I headed from Greywhale to The Depot. (Okay, we stopped at Wendy's first and one of my double stackers was only a single stacker, but I'm not going to let that ruin my day!) We sat and visited for a few hours, waiting for my wife, family, and friends to arrive and for the venue to open. There was only one couple in line ahead of us. The venue opened before the rest of our party arrived, so we hurried to the front of the stage and tried to act...big. Rachel and everyone else arrived and joined us by the stage.

The opening act was Vandaveer. I'd never heard them before, but I really enjoyed their sound. I recommend checking them out.

Then TMBG came out and rocked and rocked and rocked.

Drummer Marty Beller is a force of nature. He has so much energy, and that energy fuels the audience. I caught his eye early in the show. I had so much fun screaming for, pointing at, clapping along with, cheering for, jumping because of, and bowing to HRH Marty Beller. There were also great moments of connection with John & John and Danny & Dan. (Not Dan as much, because he was on the opposite side of the stage from where we were.)

The whole show was amazing. The fact that they played "Turn Around," a song I don't think I've heard them do live before, made it extra awesome for me.

TMBG's crew noticed my enthusiasm throughout the show and, as soon as it was over, handed me a setlist. Dope! We got a bunch of stickers from the band. Marty signed a drumstick for us which Andrea gave to her husband, Matt. I was able to exchange a few words with Marty and Danny. I bought a Nanobots hoodie and Factory Showroom on vinyl. This was the greatest concert experience I've ever had. I left feeling super great and tired and hoarse.

We walked a few blocks to our car and that's when I was approached by a bum.


You were thinking, "The title of this post starts with panhandlers and he hasn't said anything about that. I want to know about panhandlers!" Well, dear reader, your time has come! Here are a few thoughts on the subject:

I was once at Voodoo Doughnut in Portland, Oregon. They had a sign in their store asking people NOT to give money or doughnuts or anything to panhandlers. I just tried to find the sign online, but found this article instead. The sign said that panhandlers created a dangerous and threatening environment for their customers and then recommended donating to local soup kitchens, etc.

Around these parts people *cough* Mormons *cough* are really kind and giving. A man on a corner with a cardboard sign probably makes more money in a day than I do. My wife wrote on her blog about an interesting eye opening experience she had with a panhandler.

In conversation on this very topic earlier this week she asked, "If everyone stopped giving panhandlers money, would our streets be covered in the bodies of dead panhandlers?" We determined that would not be the consequence. Panhandlers continue panhandling because it works for them. If it stopped working for them, they would find another way to get by (relying on charity, finding employment, murdering and stealing, etc.).

I believe in donating to charities. I don't believe I should feel bad for not giving someone on the street a dollar. I have given people dollars before. I gave money to a man with a sign near a grocery store. He was in that exact same spot the next time I went to the store a week or so later. I got the feeling he wasn't looking for any other way of life. This irritated me. I gave a lady a dollar because she said she needed it for the bus. She took the dollar and RAN to the bus stop just in time to take the bus. She was honest. I lucked out. The point is: I don't like to give money to these people and I am okay with that because I donate time and money to charities.


Back to June 8th!

The man approached me and said, "Hey, man. How's it going?"
"Great! How are you?" I replied as I increased my walking speed toward my car.
"Good, man."
"Great!" I replied (inferring that he was actually "good" and not just being a kind conversationalist).
As I unlocked the car and everyone started getting in he called out, "No. Wait, man!"
I paused. I think it was because I felt bad for my snotty inference.
He continued, "My car is broken down and I need to get back to Provo."
"Sorry, I don't have any room in my car." True. We were five people in a five person car. I found an out!
"No, man that's not what I need. I need $4 to take the train."
He said he only had $1. I offered him $3. Plus his 1, that was 4. I was being kind of a dick.
"No, man. I need $4."
Fine. I get it. Whatever. I handed him $4 and just before I quickly turned away to get in the car he said:
"Thanks, man."

For a moment, as he thanked me, he looked like my grandpa.

My grandpa died years ago while I was in Canada serving a 2-year mission for the LDS Church. I never got to say goodbye. I didn't get to go to the funeral. I never got to grieve. I think about him a lot and I miss him a ton. I paid $4 to see my grandpa for a split second, and it was worth every penny.