This one time...

I wrote a rap about someone with whom I was having dinner. He barfed. It was pink. I love him.

"I saw him chew and then I knew that he would spew. Yes, he threw up - the screw up. Please pardon my jargon, he glarged on his plate. It was too late. I saw the color of his chunder made me wonder what he ate."

Enough about throw up. It's time for me to grow up. And le....

Sorry, I was rapping again.

Speaking of rapping, my favorite rap that I've never been able to stick into a song:

I'm makin' shake 'n' bake 'n' takin' cake in for dessert.

Thankyouthankyou.

Throw Back

This one time, it was my older sister's birthday and she was having a party in our backyard. I was a young teenager (aka scrawny). My friend Chris Manning was with me (also scrawny). We (probably mostly me) were annoying one of my sister's friends. He, being a couple years older than us, was a couple years bigger than us. So, here's what happened (with the guy's name as Guy):

Setting - Backyard in the evening

Guy has pinned Steve to the ground. Chris stands nearby. Steve CANNOT MOVE.

Steve (to Chris): Should I do it?

Chris: Yeah.

Guy: Do what?

Steve: Break your nose.

Guy: You can't do that. (To Chris) Can he do that?

Chris shrugs his shoulders slightly in a how-much-do-you-want-to-find-out? sort of way.

Guy unpins Steve.

Guy: That's messed up.

Guy walks away.

Aaaaand...SCENE.


Chris immediately plays along having no idea what I'm talking about! What a spectacular moment in junior high friendship! Chris went on to do other great things, like marry my little sister and make babies with her.

It was four minutes of two...

I'm sitting in my office. It feels like late Friday night, but it's actually early Saturday morning. I'm laying edits to tape. Three edits, three tapes, three hours (roughly). I am listening to all of my TMBG (over 500 tracks) on shuffle and wearing a TMBG shirt! Sitting in this building, alone, is creepy. Being alone where I'm used to being with people is creepy. Driving alone in a car = not creepy. Walking alone in the halls of a building (office/church/etc.) = creepy. Roaming a deserted Universal Studios theme park alone = great movie idea. Maybe one of the Chilean miners shows up and becomes our protagonist's friend, but they can't communicate easily. So they communicate using Elvis lyrics. Gold. (And a very current reference...thanks, CNN!)

Really, I'm just bored right now. Someone please save me from this boredom. If you have my number call me right now. (I'm counting on Colton.)

Do the Curly Shuffle

Time, once again, to put iTunes on shuffle and write about a couple few songs.

Twist and Shout - The Beatles
While this song might make me think of parades in Chicago, I actually thought of the first youth theater show I directed (which was a version of Alice in Wonderland). Tweedles Dee and Dum have that whole deal with shaking hands. They say something like "Now shake." "Shake." Then I had my sister (who was the musical director) start playing this song (my other sister was the choreographer). A postmodern gag I had to incorporate. It was fun.

Crazy - Barenaked Ladies
This song (and the Gordon album) remind me of my Uncle Brent...who I believe had this song on his wedding video, or another one like it. But I think of him. So, there.
I think I'm a good deal like my Uncle Brent, which is totally cool with me. (Not sure what he'd say.)

I'm Only Sleeping - The Vines
Well, I think of the Beatles and the film I Am Sam, for obvious reasons (which, if you don't know...Wikipedia it).

Money, Money, Money - ABBA
I am amazed at how often iTunes shuffles up ABBA for me. I love this song. I like ABBA. I hate Mamma Mia! (the musical and the movie...not the song). If you want to disagree, we can have a debate. Sounds fun.

Brighter than Sunshine - Aqualung
Wow. I haven't heard this song in a while. It is beautiful. Why this guy calls himself Aqualung, I may never know (I like Jethro Tull, but I don't think I'd name myself after their songs...especially not that one.  Strange (and beautiful).

One more, then I've got to go to dinner with my newly returned missionary brother (and the rest of the family). Elder Sean Aaron returned from the Zimbabwe Harare Mission last night around 10:30pm. He is cute and skinny and talks funny and I love him. We are going to Mimi's tonight. I love Mimi's.

Beautiful Life - Ace of Base
I'm thinking I must be in a playlist I started creating and never got past the letter B. The Vines would have snuck in with my Beatles drop. How embarrassing. Next time I promise to be in my full library and not a playlist. Sorry. My bad. (PS, this song keeps skipping...I better re-import it. Yes, I have Ace of Base greatest hits on CD. What?)

I have a job

Here's the story...with NO pictures.

I'd been looking for work for a while (almost a year :| ). Before Spain I had applied for all sorts of jobs around town here in Orem Land. After Spain, I had emails from one "Convergys" (I didn't want to work there...but I needed a job...like, pretty-sure-Rachel-is-gonna-leave-me needed a job). The emails said they wanted to interview me for a job (DirectTV technical support) that would require working on Sundays (the perfect excuse to find a better job). Anyway, I never responded...they tried calling me...called the home phone...spoke with Rachel...I had an interview the next morning.

I went in for the interview, fully expecting to say "I ain't gunna werk on Sundays!" Then I would punch them in the teeth and run. I get there, guy comes out, gives me paperwork, asks me to fill it out, is about to leave and I'm all "Um...I don't want to work on Sundays." Then...he looked at me for... what... seemed... like... a... very...... very... long... time. He snapped out of his trance and slowly said "You won't have to work on Sundays..." and disappeared.

So, I fill out paper work. Wait. Go in for an interview ("In a call center, it is typical that...etc."). Wait. Get told I'm going to have a second interview with the AT&T guys. (Who?) Wait. And go back to interview with the AT&T guys.

The first question they asked was "Do you have any questions about the job?"

Me: "Yeah. What is it?"

They explained that it is managing sites that are getting VPN installed (baby sitting adults). The interview was easy because I was flippant. "Tell us about your strengths." "I'm totally awesome, idiots."*

The only question that had me worried was the last one: "Tell us about the last spreadsheet you created."

My first thought: "I don't make spreadsheets."

Then I remembered: "This is going to sound nerdy, but I actually made a spreadsheet last week as I was analyzing a full-length film that had under 70 edits total. Shot number, duration, description, etc."

The one manager was like "I love movies!" And that was that. I signed new-hire-type papers the next day.

I started work the end of April/beginning of May (not entirely certain right now). It turns out that Convergys as a corporation might be the devil himself, but our team was pretty good.

While working there my most excellent friend Nick sent me a craigslist posting for an Avid editor job at a place in Provo called Infomercials Inc. I went for an interview. Went for a second interview, which was actually an editing audition (four applicants participated in the Tri-Wizard Tournament). Got a call the next day and was hired. I put in my two weeks notice at Convergys. I started at Infomercials Inc. the beginning of August. I love it. Great company. Great people. I'm really lucky. THANKS NICK!

I made a few friends at Convergys...one of whom has maintained contact with me (Thanks, Andy!). It was a good experience. I didn't hate my job there. But I definitely found a better job. Again, thanks Nick. I still owe you dinner.

So, yeah. I'm working in Provo. Editing in Avid. It's pretty great. It would be nice to get out of Utah at some point (no offense, immediate families)...but we'll be here a while (ain't going nowhere).

Woo!

*I didn't actually say that.

So...We're in Utah

Yeah, the place we went to didn't have the internet. What up with that? Here are some pictures to tell the short version of our Spain trip.

So sad.

This is when the car we had for a couple of days broke down for no reason. We had to get a new one. It was a hassle. (Rachel took this picture of me and my parents posing.)

So chubby.
(I didn't pose for this picture, or I would be sucking it in.)

So happy.

This is Rach driving the new car after my parents left. They had to cut Spain a couple days short to go on a business trip to Cancun. It's kind of the opposite of out of the frying pan and into the fire.

So shocked.

Our time in Spain came to a close after seeing lots of amazing things of which I am not sharing pictures. Sorry (but not really).

All the red you see on the board = cancelled flights. Remember that Iceland volcano thing. Yeah. (Spain is south enough that the ash cloud didn't bother us getting out of Spain. Seriously, look at a map.)

We flew from Madrid to NYC with Julianne Moore. She had driven all day from Paris to fly out of Europe via Madrid. She looked great!

So jazz hands.

This is our short trip into Central Park waiting for the MoMA to open. We flew into NYC late at night and couldn't leave until the next day...so we pushed our flight from NYC to SLC in order to check out the Tim Burton exhibit (which was closing in a few days). You don't believe me? Proof:

So busted.

BAM! We took this picture and an employee said "No pictures!"

Then we flew home sitting next to a woman who had me hold her purse and blanket while she went to the bathroom...then she told me she had just attended her son's funeral. He had been shot in the throat. It was a great story...I don't tell it very well. Sorry (but not really).

So...we are in Madrid

Holler!

It is difficult typing on this hotelś Spanish laptop.  Like, see how the apostrophe became an accent mark over an s? Yeah, weird. ¿But did you know I can do this? ¡And I can do that!

I am really tired after flying here and then staying awake and going to museums. We had a very full day of seeing amazing art and an amazing city. All I wanna do at this point is sleep.

...and post a couple pictures.  ¡Disfrute!

Us on the plane. I look stoned.

.....

...

Okay, I was gonna put like five more photos...but this computer is slow and frustrating. LINUX? ¡¿REALLY?! Who had that idea High Tech Hotel? (Our hotel is called High Tech...you have to put your keycard in the wall to work the lights.)

I cannot load any more pictures right now...so hopefully the place we will be staying at the rest of the week will have fast internet and I can put a bunch up.

Stay tuned.


PS The staying up forever thing didn't seem to have any effect for better or worse on me. Oh well...I'm awesome.