This one time...

I wrote a rap about someone with whom I was having dinner. He barfed. It was pink. I love him.

"I saw him chew and then I knew that he would spew. Yes, he threw up - the screw up. Please pardon my jargon, he glarged on his plate. It was too late. I saw the color of his chunder made me wonder what he ate."

Enough about throw up. It's time for me to grow up. And le....

Sorry, I was rapping again.

Speaking of rapping, my favorite rap that I've never been able to stick into a song:

I'm makin' shake 'n' bake 'n' takin' cake in for dessert.

Thankyouthankyou.

Throw Back

This one time, it was my older sister's birthday and she was having a party in our backyard. I was a young teenager (aka scrawny). My friend Chris Manning was with me (also scrawny). We (probably mostly me) were annoying one of my sister's friends. He, being a couple years older than us, was a couple years bigger than us. So, here's what happened (with the guy's name as Guy):

Setting - Backyard in the evening

Guy has pinned Steve to the ground. Chris stands nearby. Steve CANNOT MOVE.

Steve (to Chris): Should I do it?

Chris: Yeah.

Guy: Do what?

Steve: Break your nose.

Guy: You can't do that. (To Chris) Can he do that?

Chris shrugs his shoulders slightly in a how-much-do-you-want-to-find-out? sort of way.

Guy unpins Steve.

Guy: That's messed up.

Guy walks away.

Aaaaand...SCENE.


Chris immediately plays along having no idea what I'm talking about! What a spectacular moment in junior high friendship! Chris went on to do other great things, like marry my little sister and make babies with her.