The World of Steve

This one time...

2011-10-04T16:07:00.000-07:00

I wrote a rap about someone with whom I was having dinner. He barfed. It was pink. I love him.

"I saw him chew and then I knew that he would spew. Yes, he threw up - the screw up. Please pardon my jargon, he glarged on his plate. It was too late. I saw the color of his chunder made me wonder what he ate."

Enough about throw up. It's time for me to grow up. And le....

Sorry, I was rapping again.

Speaking of rapping, my favorite rap that I've never been able to stick into a song:

I'm makin' shake 'n' bake 'n' takin' cake in for dessert.

Thankyouthankyou.

Throw Back

2011-07-27T09:28:00.001-07:00

This one time, it was my older sister's birthday and she was having a party in our backyard. I was a young teenager (aka scrawny). My friend Chris Manning was with me (also scrawny). We (probably mostly me) were annoying one of my sister's friends. He, being a couple years older than us, was a couple years bigger than us. So, here's what happened (with the guy's name as Guy):

Setting - Backyard in the evening

Guy has pinned Steve to the ground. Chris stands nearby. Steve CANNOT MOVE.

Steve (to Chris): Should I do it?

Chris: Yeah.

Guy: Do what?

Steve: Break your nose.

Guy: You can't do that. (To Chris) Can he do that?

Chris shrugs his shoulders slightly in a how-much-do-you-want-to-find-out? sort of way.

Guy unpins Steve.

Guy: That's messed up.

Guy walks away.

Aaaaand...SCENE.

Chris immediately plays along having no idea what I'm talking about! What a spectacular moment in junior high friendship! Chris went on to do other great things, like marry my little sister and make babies with her.

It was four minutes of two...

2010-11-20T00:06:00.000-08:00

I'm sitting in my office. It feels like late Friday night, but it's actually early Saturday morning. I'm laying edits to tape. Three edits, three tapes, three hours (roughly). I am listening to all of my TMBG (over 500 tracks) on shuffle and wearing a TMBG shirt! Sitting in this building, alone, is creepy. Being alone where I'm used to being with people is creepy. Driving alone in a car = not creepy. Walking alone in the halls of a building (office/church/etc.) = creepy. Roaming a deserted Universal Studios theme park alone = great movie idea. Maybe one of the Chilean miners shows up and becomes our protagonist's friend, but they can't communicate easily. So they communicate using Elvis lyrics. Gold. (And a very current reference...thanks, CNN!)

Really, I'm just bored right now. Someone please save me from this boredom. If you have my number call me right now. (I'm counting on Colton.)

Do the Curly Shuffle

2010-10-21T17:14:00.000-07:00

Time, once again, to put iTunes on shuffle and write about a couple few songs.

Twist and Shout - The Beatles
While this song might make me think of parades in Chicago, I actually thought of the first youth theater show I directed (which was a version of Alice in Wonderland). Tweedles Dee and Dum have that whole deal with shaking hands. They say something like "Now shake." "Shake." Then I had my sister (who was the musical director) start playing this song (my other sister was the choreographer). A postmodern gag I had to incorporate. It was fun.

Crazy - Barenaked Ladies
This song (and the Gordon album) remind me of my Uncle Brent...who I believe had this song on his wedding video, or another one like it. But I think of him. So, there.
I think I'm a good deal like my Uncle Brent, which is totally cool with me. (Not sure what he'd say.)

I'm Only Sleeping - The Vines
Well, I think of the Beatles and the film I Am Sam, for obvious reasons (which, if you don't know...Wikipedia it).

Money, Money, Money - ABBA
I am amazed at how often iTunes shuffles up ABBA for me. I love this song. I like ABBA. I hate Mamma Mia! (the musical and the movie...not the song). If you want to disagree, we can have a debate. Sounds fun.

Brighter than Sunshine - Aqualung
Wow. I haven't heard this song in a while. It is beautiful. Why this guy calls himself Aqualung, I may never know (I like Jethro Tull, but I don't think I'd name myself after their songs...especially not that one. Strange (and beautiful).

One more, then I've got to go to dinner with my newly returned missionary brother (and the rest of the family). Elder Sean Aaron returned from the Zimbabwe Harare Mission last night around 10:30pm. He is cute and skinny and talks funny and I love him. We are going to Mimi's tonight. I love Mimi's.

Beautiful Life - Ace of Base
I'm thinking I must be in a playlist I started creating and never got past the letter B. The Vines would have snuck in with my Beatles drop. How embarrassing. Next time I promise to be in my full library and not a playlist. Sorry. My bad. (PS, this song keeps skipping...I better re-import it. Yes, I have Ace of Base greatest hits on CD. What?)

I have a job

2010-10-07T18:05:00.000-07:00

Here's the story...with NO pictures.

I'd been looking for work for a while (almost a year :| ). Before Spain I had applied for all sorts of jobs around town here in Orem Land. After Spain, I had emails from one "Convergys" (I didn't want to work there...but I needed a job...like, pretty-sure-Rachel-is-gonna-leave-me needed a job). The emails said they wanted to interview me for a job (DirectTV technical support) that would require working on Sundays (the perfect excuse to find a better job). Anyway, I never responded...they tried calling me...called the home phone...spoke with Rachel...I had an interview the next morning.

I went in for the interview, fully expecting to say "I ain't gunna werk on Sundays!" Then I would punch them in the teeth and run. I get there, guy comes out, gives me paperwork, asks me to fill it out, is about to leave and I'm all "Um...I don't want to work on Sundays." Then...he looked at me for... what... seemed... like... a... very...... very... long... time. He snapped out of his trance and slowly said "You won't have to work on Sundays..." and disappeared.

So, I fill out paper work. Wait. Go in for an interview ("In a call center, it is typical that...etc."). Wait. Get told I'm going to have a second interview with the AT&T guys. (Who?) Wait. And go back to interview with the AT&T guys.

The first question they asked was "Do you have any questions about the job?"

Me: "Yeah. What is it?"

They explained that it is managing sites that are getting VPN installed (baby sitting adults). The interview was easy because I was flippant. "Tell us about your strengths." "I'm totally awesome, idiots."*

The only question that had me worried was the last one: "Tell us about the last spreadsheet you created."

My first thought: "I don't make spreadsheets."

Then I remembered: "This is going to sound nerdy, but I actually made a spreadsheet last week as I was analyzing a full-length film that had under 70 edits total. Shot number, duration, description, etc."

The one manager was like "I love movies!" And that was that. I signed new-hire-type papers the next day.

I started work the end of April/beginning of May (not entirely certain right now). It turns out that Convergys as a corporation might be the devil himself, but our team was pretty good.

While working there my most excellent friend Nick sent me a craigslist posting for an Avid editor job at a place in Provo called Infomercials Inc. I went for an interview. Went for a second interview, which was actually an editing audition (four applicants participated in the Tri-Wizard Tournament). Got a call the next day and was hired. I put in my two weeks notice at Convergys. I started at Infomercials Inc. the beginning of August. I love it. Great company. Great people. I'm really lucky. THANKS NICK!

I made a few friends at Convergys...one of whom has maintained contact with me (Thanks, Andy!). It was a good experience. I didn't hate my job there. But I definitely found a better job. Again, thanks Nick. I still owe you dinner.

So, yeah. I'm working in Provo. Editing in Avid. It's pretty great. It would be nice to get out of Utah at some point (no offense, immediate families)...but we'll be here a while (ain't going nowhere).

Woo!

*I didn't actually say that.

So...We're in Utah

2010-09-20T22:09:00.000-07:00

Yeah, the place we went to didn't have the internet. What up with that? Here are some pictures to tell the short version of our Spain trip.

So sad.

This is when the car we had for a couple of days broke down for no reason. We had to get a new one. It was a hassle. (Rachel took this picture of me and my parents posing.)

So chubby.
(I didn't pose for this picture, or I would be sucking it in.)

So happy.

This is Rach driving the new car after my parents left. They had to cut Spain a couple days short to go on a business trip to Cancun. It's kind of the opposite of out of the frying pan and into the fire.

So shocked.

Our time in Spain came to a close after seeing lots of amazing things of which I am not sharing pictures. Sorry (but not really).

All the red you see on the board = cancelled flights. Remember that Iceland volcano thing. Yeah. (Spain is south enough that the ash cloud didn't bother us getting out of Spain. Seriously, look at a map.)

We flew from Madrid to NYC with Julianne Moore. She had driven all day from Paris to fly out of Europe via Madrid. She looked great!

So jazz hands.

This is our short trip into Central Park waiting for the MoMA to open. We flew into NYC late at night and couldn't leave until the next day...so we pushed our flight from NYC to SLC in order to check out the Tim Burton exhibit (which was closing in a few days). You don't believe me? Proof:

So busted.

BAM! We took this picture and an employee said "No pictures!"

Then we flew home sitting next to a woman who had me hold her purse and blanket while she went to the bathroom...then she told me she had just attended her son's funeral. He had been shot in the throat. It was a great story...I don't tell it very well. Sorry (but not really).

So...we are in Madrid

2010-04-10T12:12:00.000-07:00

Holler!

It is difficult typing on this hotelś Spanish laptop. Like, see how the apostrophe became an accent mark over an s? Yeah, weird. ¿But did you know I can do this? ¡And I can do that!

I am really tired after flying here and then staying awake and going to museums. We had a very full day of seeing amazing art and an amazing city. All I wanna do at this point is sleep.

...and post a couple pictures. ¡Disfrute!

Us on the plane. I look stoned.

.....

...

Okay, I was gonna put like five more photos...but this computer is slow and frustrating. LINUX? ¡¿REALLY?! Who had that idea High Tech Hotel? (Our hotel is called High Tech...you have to put your keycard in the wall to work the lights.)

I cannot load any more pictures right now...so hopefully the place we will be staying at the rest of the week will have fast internet and I can put a bunch up.

Stay tuned.

PS The staying up forever thing didn't seem to have any effect for better or worse on me. Oh well...I'm awesome.

It's late...or early.

2010-04-09T03:22:00.000-07:00

As I start to write this, the time is 4:14 AM. I am sitting on the ground in the living room at my in-laws' typing into this laptop that my good friend Jeff lent me. (Thanks, Jeff!) I have not bloggerized (new word!) for a long time. I have had a number of stories and thoughts that I figured would be great for this blog...but never did anything with them. Like that story about Primary! Oh man.
Here is why I am writing now. This is an experiment. Not the blog (well...that too, really) but the fact that I'm staying up all night. "That's no experiment!" you exclaim. You're right if you are thinking of all-nighters as simply that. HOWEVER! I am leaving here at 6 AM, going to the airport, flying to New York, and from there flying to Spain. We arrive in Spain at...what...something like 7 AM the next day.
THUS the experiment. Rachel is sound asleep. I am trying to be wide awake. We will see how we do on the plane and what sort of jet lagginess (new word!) hits us. This will either be a huge success or a complete failure...either way, I felt it was worth bloggerizing about.

So much to say, so little time

2010-01-11T11:18:00.001-08:00

Strike that. Reverse it.

Lookalikes and so forth

2009-11-05T16:56:00.000-08:00

Phil Donahue looks like the dad from Family Circus. There, I said it.

Donald Trump, are you the father of Owen Wilson? Seriously, look at those two.

Emile Hirsch, do you want to be Jack Black?

I am that guy who looks at you and thinks of someone else you look like. My wife will almost always disagree. Like, you look like this other person...not a carbon copy. I could say anyone looks like any other person on earth and it would be accurate: head, shoulders, knees, toes, eyes, ears, mouth, and nose. If I said someone looked like a different creature, there might be more of a stretch...but I would obviously be dealing in caricature. (Yes, Whoopi Goldberg looks like the Predator.)

This is always related to celebrities. Rarely do I see someone and think, you look like my cousin Bill (who is a good looking guy...and there was that one guy I was in a play with once that looked like my cousin Bill, but that was one person in the history of my life). I think of the small and big screens. With this comes the problem of growing up and not being completely aware of who is who...or knowing that actors exist beyond their characters.

Number one celebrity confusion for me was Patrick Swayze and Kurt Russell. I'm lead to believe this is fairly common. I could not tell them apart. Number two would be Robert DeNiro and Al Pacino, not that they look alike...but their names tripped me up. I heard their names all of the time, but I think the only movie I saw with either of them growing up was Dick Tracy (my favorite movie as a kid) with Al Pacino as "Big Boy" Caprice.

Which leads me to: Shirley MacLaine and Shari Lewis.

Give a kid a break!

Anyway, I just had to put that out there. I would love to know of any lookalikes or confusing pairs that others might have had (or have). It might make me feel a bit more...sane.

An Unlikely Trio

2009-10-21T16:41:00.000-07:00

Last week Rachel and I went to this mountain resort type town called Idyllwild here nearby. I was told it was like Park City. That’s a rough simile. Park City is, well, a city. Idyllwild is a forest with a few buildings here and there. Rachel and I tried to find as many fun little shops as we could. I believe she ended up buying a couple little things, but it was otherwise uneventful and cold. Despite the uneventfulness, I still wrote about it. Mostly as an excuse to post the picture of some “collectible” items we saw in one store. Wilma, riddle me this: Did I do that?

SHUFFLE UP AND WRITE

2009-10-05T19:55:00.000-07:00

Let's do something fun, and by “let's” I mean me. And really I can only hope that it is fun. It could be the opposite of fun, or un-fun. I am going to put an iTunes playlist of over 1300 songs (1301 to be exact) on shuffle and write about five songs it plays. However, because I titled this “Shuffle Up and Write,” I am going to take a Texas hold 'em approach. The song playing right now (Spitting Games by Snow Patrol) is a burn song. The next three are the flop. The next is another burn. Then the turn. Burn. River (or fifth street, according to Wikipedia). Let's see what happens.

THE FLOP Best for Last – Adele: I bought this album for Rachel a little while ago. I haven't listened to it that much, but I dig her voice. I'm going to cheat on the first card and tell a tangential tale. On this album Adele covers Bob Dylan's “Make You Feel My Love.” I decided that I should learn to play that song on the piano and sing it for Rachel for our anniversary. The only problem being that I can't play the piano. I can read music, but can't play the piano...no coordination. I worked on it for a while, got the left hand down, but I have another problem...no rhythm. And I frequently misspell the word “rhythm.” Anyway, anniversary arrived and I tried, but got nervous and messed up. So, Rachel sat next to me at the piano and played the right hand while I sang. It was cute. Time's up...next song.

Lose Yourself – Eminem: Well, this is definitely shuffle. Okay, again, Rachel. She loves Eminem and I believe she has this song memorized. I will try to quote it at times, but Rachel has to correct me because I don't know it. Eminem is a genius. The rhythm and rhyme of his lyrics are mind-boggling. I never saw 8 Mile, but I'm guessing I would not appreciate his acting as much as his rapping. For anyone terribly concerned about the present song, it is an edited version...if that makes anyone feel better. Eminem's voice is incredibly unique. It seems like it could be an annoying type of voice, but really it's perfect. Eminem just told me that I “can do anything [I] set [my] mind to, man.” That would be positive vibes coming from Eminem right there.

Sin Wagon – Dixie Chicks: Why is this song in this playlist? It was very comical going from Eminem into this honky-tonk Dixie Chicks song. Unfortunately, I have nothing to say about this song. In high school, a few of my choir friends were the Dixie Chicks for a talent show or musical performance. Three very nice, super talented girls. Mouth harp! Wow, this song is amazing. This song is WAY more inappropriate then Eminem. I thought this song was over, but there's a minute left. If you haven't noticed, I'm writing while the song is playing...so I only have the amount of time that the song plays. During the burn songs I will just wait. Here's another thing about my difficulties with writing. I always want to put two spaces after a period, but am trying to only do one. So I'm probably really inconsistent.

BURN Lace and Leather – Britney Spears

TURN Overprotected (The Darkchild Remix) – Britney Spears: I have to admit I am glad I get to write about a Britney song after missing the last one; however I am really baffled at the music on this playlist. Where's all my “nerd rock”? So, Britney. Rachel and I saw Britney on her most recent tour, Circus. It was really awesome. I know her hits from the radio from before my mission, and then I lost her at Toxic. I don't know her music very well, but I think she is a crazy person that has really fun music. Not for everybody or for always, but for me on certain days it's great.

BURN Your Star – The All-American Rejects

RIVER (or Fifth Street) Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It) – Beyonce: Wow! Last night I watched all of Glee thus far. The Single Ladies dance was amazing. Two of my sisters were pregnant a few months ago. I wanted to make a knock-off Single Ladies video with three pregnant women in unitards, but never got around to doing it. Picture it, though, and then think about it. Funny AND ironic. Beyonce is an amazing performer (Cadillac Records was a boring movie, but it was not her fault). This song will be remembered forever. The video, the Kanye/Taylor event, the parodies, etc. Amazing!

And now my iTunes is playing You Can't Do That by The Beatles. I want to play Beatles Rock Band, but that has nothing to do with anything because this hand is over. Let's re-hash. It was frustrating sitting doing nothing during the burn songs. I need to figure out a better way of revealing information about myself, instead of leaving my fate to a playlist on shuffle. What do you, my faithful readers, think? This poker approach was okay, but I should have dealt myself two songs first...and then bet...and I would have won!

My "Write Right Now" Rite Night

2009-09-25T23:30:00.001-07:00

I got a text at about a quarter after nine from my buddy Spencer. He and Eric (another film school buddy) have a blog where they write a one page script every single day. On Fridays they have a guest writer contribute as well. The text informed me that their guest had dropped out and they invited me to participate. I said "Yes."

They have inspiration for each day (a picture, a clip, a song, anything), so this is what I was writing from.

I got my script e-mailed to Eric within the hour. It's basically a bad joke in one-page script form. Bad like "*groan* That was a bad joke!" Not bad like "You're no son of mine!" Check it out here. I noticed at least one typographical error. Nobody's perfect!

Don't ask me what I'm doing.

2009-09-25T00:35:00.000-07:00

I am herein attempting an explanation of my current life situation.

At present I am living with my aunt and uncle in Hemet, CA. Now hop on Google Maps/Earth and see where that is. I'll wait for you.

Yeah, that's where I am. I know, right?

Rachel, meanwhile, is living with her padres in Family City, USA. If you're unsure where that is, punch "family city usa" into a Google search and the first result is your answer. The second result is a Wikipedia entry that would have helped me earn my Citizenship in the Community merit badge. (Not that I didn't earn it, because I did. Heck, I got my Eagle. And I did it all sans internet!) And this is one more spot that you can get some Family City news from earlier this year.

Sure we are "separated" technically, but come on! That is not what's going on. I am down here trying to find a job doing video/film editing. Upon securing said job I will find a place to live closer to said job. Then Rachel will join me and find a job of her own. Together we will make money...money enough to barely get by...the American Dream!

Let me see...what else do I need to tell you?

(Who - me. What - my situation. When - ? Where - Hemet. Why - job. How - ?!)

Okay. I have been here for three weeks. And I don't have a job yet! Yeah, that's the "how" that if anyone has any advice for me I'd be very appreciative.

There you have it, ladies and gentleman. I should just say "lady" because I think my wife is the only person who knows this blog exists. I can't blame anyone. I didn't even know it existed until recently.

I have a blog?!

2009-09-22T16:00:00.000-07:00

I guess I created this a while ago...as you can see (whoever you are) this is the first time I've written anything on it. I should probably make this first post really lame so that no one has any hopes or expectations for returning. If you do come back...you will quickly learn I like ellipses (and parenthetical statements). And so I will now relate a random story from my life:

Just before my family and I moved into our house in Orem (over 22 years ago) we lived for a short time at my grandparents' house in Lindon. I was three-ish. I remember playing downstairs with this toy hotplate thing (where if you spin a knob I think the colors changed between yellow and red).

So (you'll also find I love the word "so") I had food on my mind. Nearby was some dough with which one might play. I decided to taste it. It was extremely salty; I did not like it. I needed a drink. I figured what I had done was wrong, so I could not ask an adult to get a drink for me because they would find me out. Being a genius, I went outside to get a drink from the hose which was easily accessible to almost four year old me. As the warm, rubbery-tasting water relieved my tongue of the salt which had been attacking it my grandpa stepped outside.

"What are you doing, Steven?"

I started bawling. I had been caught. I explained the whole event to my grandfather who, thinking back on it, was probably quite perplexed.